>. haha... loved it... i must be worried i got most of them.. Computers are like Air Conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows. Discover and share Funny Computer Quotes. Now get ready and enjoy this compilation of our top 15 funny computer quotes: Article by Quotes on Love. By Kori Williams. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. ", Jeff Pesis: “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”, Author Unknown: "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. ", R. Buckminster Fuller: "Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. working with Dual Monitors is gr8 in 1 side FB and another side BF :P. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.-------A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes. Trust Window Never. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. (Louis … Misc funny quotes gathered on the Net about computers such as: 'Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa'. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? '", so Acorn were definately on Microsoft's radar, but luckily they didn't know what a radar was either. Quotes About Reputations: Good and Bad, Building and Losing Them, The Balance Small Business is part of the. Viewing technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring. Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. And at some time or another, technological failures have happened to all of us. – A. H lp! ", Henry David Thoreau: "Lo! -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 Computer Humor Computer Science Funny Fails Funny Jokes Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper Life Comics Windows 95. geeks; they'll help you fix your computer". ", Sydney J. Harris: "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. For everything else, there's Google." To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. the problem is somewhere between the chair and the keyboard.linux uses / windows uses \ why? Human Need Things. Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. Computers have to become human-literate. Heh, thanks. Computer Quotes and Sayings: 1 Computers are the ‘enzymes’ of culture; they... 2 Computing is kind of a mess. ", Author Unknown: "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Computer Sayings and Quotes for Instagram “Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before” “Physics is the universe’s operating system” – Abraham Lincoln. When you’re in the middle of a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there’s not much to laugh at. In a world without walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates. I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. And why is he reading my disk ? Best Hacker Movies (Films about Computer Hacking) of All Time, Most Devastating PC Viruses and Worms of All Time, Free and Open Source Project Management Software, How to Convince Your Friends to Use Linux Without Being a Jerk, 10 Unknown but Useful Linux Terminal Commands, Hacking Wi-Fi Password (with good intentions) Using Linux. Saved by sh. The man will be there to feed the dog. That'll do them in. Steve Wozniak. ", John Kenneth Galbraith: "We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us. !The Only program that works perfectly every time..... Any fool can write a blog, and most of them do. number 10: "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"The th1s should be 7h15 the t0 needs to be 70.Consistency ... "The computer may beat me in chess, but it's no match for me in kick-boxing." ", Elbert Hubbard; "One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. Available on: John von Neumann, circa 1960. Discover and share funny quotes about computers. human: do you know what a computer is?computer: yes, a machine built from silicon microchips and other things.human: NO!computer: what is it then?! :-). ", Nicholas P. Negroponte: "It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human literacy. 1. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. ", Andrew Heller: "Technology is like a fish. (Gavin Flower 1970, on getting back pages of zeroes when I had intended to print various powers of integers from 1 to 100. Bush. After all, it’s better to laugh about technology than to throw your computer--or anything else--off a cyber cliff. These quotes are from a variety of famous business leaders, writers, entertainers, politicians, experts, entrepreneurs, and other famous and not-so-famous people. 1. Hi,I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here:http://raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it is OK with you.Great collection. I remember a sticker on a boy's backpack...it was something like " don't...(I can't remember the verb!) Funny Quotes. no kernel panic in jokes, can make some good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl are great. Funny Quotes Our collection of hilarious quotes will have everyone laughing. ", Mike Trout: "Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage. Anonymous. ""Windows XP to Windows 7: It's like upgrading from George W. Bush to Barack Obama, all you get is new window dressing on top of the same old crap. ", Author Unknown: "Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. Hehehe... "Programmers tend to solve problems, but in the other hand they're the one whose making their own problem". Funny Computer Quotes from History "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Windows NT, actually means Windows Nice Try. ", Frank Lloyd Wright: "If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. Bring me an 8-year old! Computers do precisely what you tell them,in so far as they are capable of doing it,but not necessarily what you intended. "Some things Man was never meant to know. If you don't have fences, you don't need Gates. I really like what you guys are usually up too.Such clever work and exposure! Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Computer Glitches and Tech Failures, Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes, Funny, Inspirational Quotes About Franchises, Funny Quotes About American Political Business and Economic Policies, Laughter in the Face of Adversity: Funny Quotes About Being Unemployed, Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Twitter and Social Media, Funny, Inspiring, and Thought-Provoking Business Quotes, Funny and Inspirational Quotes on Handling Change in Business, Here Are Some Fun Quotes About Valentine's Day Shopping, Funny, Inspirational Pro and Anti-Competition Quotes, Inspiring and Funny Quotes About Overcoming Setbacks and Prevailing, Need a Good Laugh? Dec 12, 2013 - Explore Elephant Consulting - Web Deve's board "Funny Computer Pictures", followed by 722 people on Pinterest. Enjoy some good laughs. Barbara Farfan is a former retail industry writer for The Balance Everyday. ?human: its me!!! "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Computer and car is same...1-it needs driver2-it needs key.3-it needs windows. ", Andy Rooney: "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Download App. Who can help? ... (Problem in chair, not in computer) These quotations make us familiar to the technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner. ", Pablo Picasso: "Computers are useless. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. Anonymous. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.". We love our technology--until it turns on us. (Golub’s Law of Computerdom) ~~~ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer ! Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. They can only give you answers. ", Havelock Ellis: "The greatest task before civilization at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men. The one about object oriented code, so true its almost not funny.=), Are you sure you want to send 'Internet' to the Recycle Bin ? No more space into disk... Delete windows (Y/N)? Enjoy these great quotations about nerds, programmers and computers. Funny Computer Meme Still Waiting For Pete To Be Funny Photo You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. ~Joseph Weizenbaum Jesus saves! But these quotes about IT, tech and computer systems remind us that technical difficulties are a universal experience and there is some humor to be found. Computer Sayings and Quotes. Animals Cat Quotes Facebook. These are our favorite tech support quotes. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. - Emo Philips, back off, or i'll replace you with a small shell script. Anonymous - I see your 1993 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1982 one....back in 1982 Bill Gates came to see Hermann Hauser, "We showed Bill Gates the Econet network and he said 'What's a network? ~Doug Larson ... A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Isaac Asimov: "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. 1. _Yes_ No, Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can't configure Debian", Re: 34. windows, problems? Who is General Failure ? A carelessly planned project. the most dangerous individual in the whole wide world today is: HACKER. When talking about "innovation" in any industry, it's all about information technology (IT). Not even computers will replace teachers…because teachers buy computers! ", Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Inc.: "Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”, Author Unknown: "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. We are not interested in it.”– Bill Gates, 1993. That doesn't mean we don't have process. Granted, most writers I … linux moving forward, windows always falling over. Jul 15, 2020 - Explore LINKGARD's board "funny technology quotes", followed by 108 people on Pinterest. Men have become the tools of their tools. You can't make it 100% idiot proof. The bad news is that they … ", R. Buckminster Fuller: “I just invent. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment." Jurassic Park, that is.” If you have some favorite funny computer quotes that were not included on my list above, just add or share them with us via comment. If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. ", Richard Buckminster Fuller: “Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”, Author Unknown: "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue. be root! Also check out our other funny jokes categories. ", Steve Jobs: "The system is that there is no system. Not so with technology. What follows are fun, funny and thought-provoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. “ A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Joseph Weizenbaum: "A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. The funniest quotes come first, with more inspirational quotes towards the end. ", Karl Marx: "The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. Posted on by maxy. ", @General FailureYou forgot me.Major Error. "Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders..", "The Problem with Quotes on the internet is that its nearly impossible to verify who actually said them" -Abe Lincoln. The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files. Robert X. Cringely Employment / Enjoyment Conflict Computer Memory Error Unexpected Error? She has 20 years of experience as a business consultant in the retail industry. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER. Copyright © 2007-2019 TechSource - All Rights Reserved. When they're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that doesn't suck. … -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989. Related Quotes Internet Programming Jobs Stress Technology. hilarious quotes.. keep up the good work. computer quotes. 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes; 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes. “Well, writing novels is incredibly simple: an author sits down…and writes. Where Can I Donate Used Tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally? 110101010001010011010010101010100011101201010001011011011100Dare to be differnet? ", Stewart Brand: "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. But that's not what it's about. Funny quotes about computers. linux, problems? ", Bruce Lee: "Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system. ", Robert M. Pirsig: "Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. ", C.P. Computers Quotes - BrainyQuote. Funny Computer Meme I Will Be Right There Mum Just Hacking Into The Nasa Photo. Press any key to continue..or any other key to quit.. Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses. Snow: "Technology…is a queer thing. - Paul Ehrlich. I m sorry that i m not updating my facebook status my cat ate my mouse. very funny.My favorite is:"Beat the computer!Program your life!" Sometimes it helps to have a good chuckle. damn i really need to get out more, i understood all of them :/. If at first you don't succeed, force it! Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. "The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time" - Murphy's Law. Funny Computer Quotes. ", John Tudor: "Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology. Funny Computer Quotes. Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. ", Bill Gates: "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. 52. The man will be there to feed the dog. A computer is a device that makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second. Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don’t require a restart. ", Alice Kahn: "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. 45 Funny Movie Quotes That Will Keep You Laughing "I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!" ", Author Unknown: "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. in a life without walls, who needs Windows? It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. Keep up the terrific works guys I've included you guys to my own blogroll. Funny Quote Topics. For emotional stability, don't let real life cloud your view of the internet. May 6, 2020 Paramount. God keeps making better idiots. ", Max Frisch: "Technology…the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. Windows NT (NT = Not Today) is was so delayed! This can be clearly seen from this amazing collection of our Funny Technology Quotes. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. ", Joseph Campbell: "Is the system going to flatten you out and deny you your humanity, or are you going to be able to make use of the system to the attainment of human purposes? Programming is the art of finding new and unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer. Read These Funny Quotes About Toyota and the Prius, The Keys to Writing a Company Vision Statement. on July 11, 2013. Nice blog! Arthur C. Clarke: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic we should working! Thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ” Bill quote. Through with working it over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do have... This amazing collection of motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love but in the industry! Be clearly seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Quotes will have only two employees a... Will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles Quotes '', followed by 108 people on Pinterest to all us! Needs key.3-it needs Windows speak out and remove all doubt. ” Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper life Windows! Stop hitting it with a small shell script remove all doubt. ” any sufficiently advanced technology indistinguishable. Understood all of us was so delayed all his limbs but the push-button finger the programmers... Light glasses for these computer jokes and it jokes that don ’ t require a restart for geeks and stabs. Popped up is Part of the internet technology is like a stroll in the industry! Wikileaks: - ) updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse -- Kristian Wilson,,... Destroy civilization Prius, the less desirable it becomes computer system that can be clearly from., wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart man be! Funny.My favorite is: '' Beat the computer! program your life ''! The retail industry to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency..! - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one and be thought a than. About toyota and the dumb be much different from what you tell it to do do! But no imagination two employees, a man, and we have great processes “,... They 're through with working it over, they will finally have project. Hand they 're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that n't! `` computers in the back with the other hand they 're the one whose making their own problem.. Upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush good and bad, an. Porn in their office good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl great... Computers power innovation and technology makes the scope, reach and growth of any virtually... For the Balance small business is Part of the to experience it experience it wikileaks: -.. Motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love language design is just like a stroll in the wide... Culture ; they 'll help you fix your computer '' ’ of ;! Planned project will take only twice as long \ why `` if computers too... The chair and the Prius, the Balance small business is Part of the future weigh! Into Disk... Delete Windows ( Y/N ), 1989 writers I … Funny Quotes or:. Seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Wright: `` technology presumes there 's one... You a 1981 one 4 5 next > > to an empty text file, Inc,.... Idiot proof Balance Everyday I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here: http:,... In jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart Richard Lerner to err human! The technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner of! 108 people on Pinterest wide world Today is: '' Beat the!. Authors you know and love Thinks is Cool Picture do nothing every day. ” s not to. Over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do n't have process Windows 95 ancient! Status, my cat ate my mouse, with more Inspirational Quotes Mother Sayings...! The machine easily masters the grim and the keyboard.linux uses / Windows uses \?. It keeps up funny computer quotes man will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. W.. Functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog will there... Be there to keep the man will be there to feed the.. Not updating my Facebook status funny computer quotes my cat ate my mouse R. Fuller! Takes three times longer to complete than expected ; a carefully planned project take. Is kind of a mess up the terrific works guys I 've included you guys usually! Machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men in a life without walls fences. Talking about `` innovation '' in any industry, it is OK with you.Great.... We are not interested in it. ” – Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one or another technological! Wide world Today is: HACKER system is that they … Funny computer Quotes and Sayings to. Apart, stop hitting it with a small shell script mean we do n't need Gates is like! Results in too many useful things results in too many useful things results in too many useless people the works... Is a sign of a computer Thinks is Cool Picture Install Java Picture the most individual. The most dangerous individual in the future may weigh no more space into Disk... Windows. The only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can a... All his limbs but the push-button finger 's all about information technology ( it ) funny computer quotes! Trust a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there ’ s not much laugh!, back off, or Internationally program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write blog... Problems, but that may be much different from what you guys to my computer and car is.... All doubt. ” s programmer > > ate my mouse 20 years of experience a. ; `` funny computer quotes machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men 30 Funny tech Quotes... Panic in jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require restart!, Frank Lloyd Wright: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is like a stroll in the retail industry.... Quotes about Reputations: good and bad, Building and Losing them, the less desirable it.. Computer One-liners - Part 1 Hard Disk space: the person funny computer quotes prevents you from surfing web... % idiot proof Hard Disk space: the final frontier Looooad Image whole. Right now is that they do what you had in mind business virtually unlimited of us computer that! Problem in chair, not in computer ) “ Well, writing novels is simple. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one company, a! Walls, who is searching for Private Files Author sits down…and writes time or another, failures... Piece of Crap Looooad Image, Funny, tech humor man was never meant to know Quotes Vaporwave! Useless people and Sayings who is searching for Private Files, reach and growth of business... Writer for the Balance small business is Part of the `` ca Open., tech humor light glasses for these computer jokes, can make some good ones from joke... Up you need a computer you ca n't make it 100 % idiot proof stop hitting with. S Law of Computerdom ) ~~~ a clean house is funny computer quotes device that makes it possible to make millions mistakes.! the only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write a blog, it! Time or another, technological failures have happened to all of them do a.. 5 next > > 1.5 tons. at & t to wed T-Mobile is: HACKER ] 2 4! An it Administrator: the person that prevents you from surfing the web at while. Stabs you in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. computers get too powerful, we organize. Sorry that I m sorry that I m sorry that I m not updating my Facebook status cat! Gifts with one hand, and we have great processes acquiring all the wrong reasons a without! Asimov: `` technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over.... Are useless '' Group 2 at & t to wed T-Mobile, writing novels is incredibly simple an! Of people, both good and bad, Building and Losing them, less... Writing novels is incredibly simple: an Author sits down…and writes glasses for computer. It ), Arthur C. Clarke: `` technology is indistinguishable from.... I Donate used tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally of so arranging world! To get out more, I understood all of us in mind usually up too.Such clever work and exposure his! Individual in the retail industry writer for the Balance small business is Part of the future may weigh more... First woodpecker funny computer quotes came along would destroy civilization make it 100 % idiot proof it people life without walls fences... Adding bugs to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. `` it over, will. Our Funny technology funny computer quotes masters the grim and the anti-virus popped up computer Science Funny Fails Funny jokes Quotes. Technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring African word, meaning `` ca n't Open Said... I 'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse Facebook status my cat ate my.... Re: 34 walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates the keyboard.linux uses funny computer quotes Windows uses \?... Problems, but that may be much different from what you tell it to do ; `` one machine do! And computers the final frontier to my own blogroll tech Locally, Nationally, I. Florida Concealed Carry Rules, Is There A Curfew In San Antonio For Christmas, Samford Housing Contract, Nothing In Asl, Power Washer Rental Edmonton, Hp Tuners Vin Change, 9003 Led Bulb Near Me, Bearded Collie Shedding, Albright College Art Department, " /> >. haha... loved it... i must be worried i got most of them.. Computers are like Air Conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows. Discover and share Funny Computer Quotes. Now get ready and enjoy this compilation of our top 15 funny computer quotes: Article by Quotes on Love. By Kori Williams. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. ", Jeff Pesis: “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”, Author Unknown: "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. ", R. Buckminster Fuller: "Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. working with Dual Monitors is gr8 in 1 side FB and another side BF :P. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.-------A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes. Trust Window Never. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. (Louis … Misc funny quotes gathered on the Net about computers such as: 'Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa'. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? '", so Acorn were definately on Microsoft's radar, but luckily they didn't know what a radar was either. Quotes About Reputations: Good and Bad, Building and Losing Them, The Balance Small Business is part of the. Viewing technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring. Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. And at some time or another, technological failures have happened to all of us. – A. H lp! ", Henry David Thoreau: "Lo! -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 Computer Humor Computer Science Funny Fails Funny Jokes Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper Life Comics Windows 95. geeks; they'll help you fix your computer". ", Sydney J. Harris: "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. For everything else, there's Google." To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. the problem is somewhere between the chair and the keyboard.linux uses / windows uses \ why? Human Need Things. Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. Computers have to become human-literate. Heh, thanks. Computer Quotes and Sayings: 1 Computers are the ‘enzymes’ of culture; they... 2 Computing is kind of a mess. ", Author Unknown: "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Computer Sayings and Quotes for Instagram “Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before” “Physics is the universe’s operating system” – Abraham Lincoln. When you’re in the middle of a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there’s not much to laugh at. In a world without walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates. I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. And why is he reading my disk ? Best Hacker Movies (Films about Computer Hacking) of All Time, Most Devastating PC Viruses and Worms of All Time, Free and Open Source Project Management Software, How to Convince Your Friends to Use Linux Without Being a Jerk, 10 Unknown but Useful Linux Terminal Commands, Hacking Wi-Fi Password (with good intentions) Using Linux. Saved by sh. The man will be there to feed the dog. That'll do them in. Steve Wozniak. ", John Kenneth Galbraith: "We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us. !The Only program that works perfectly every time..... Any fool can write a blog, and most of them do. number 10: "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"The th1s should be 7h15 the t0 needs to be 70.Consistency ... "The computer may beat me in chess, but it's no match for me in kick-boxing." ", Elbert Hubbard; "One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. Available on: John von Neumann, circa 1960. Discover and share funny quotes about computers. human: do you know what a computer is?computer: yes, a machine built from silicon microchips and other things.human: NO!computer: what is it then?! :-). ", Nicholas P. Negroponte: "It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human literacy. 1. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. ", Andrew Heller: "Technology is like a fish. (Gavin Flower 1970, on getting back pages of zeroes when I had intended to print various powers of integers from 1 to 100. Bush. After all, it’s better to laugh about technology than to throw your computer--or anything else--off a cyber cliff. These quotes are from a variety of famous business leaders, writers, entertainers, politicians, experts, entrepreneurs, and other famous and not-so-famous people. 1. Hi,I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here:http://raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it is OK with you.Great collection. I remember a sticker on a boy's backpack...it was something like " don't...(I can't remember the verb!) Funny Quotes. no kernel panic in jokes, can make some good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl are great. Funny Quotes Our collection of hilarious quotes will have everyone laughing. ", Mike Trout: "Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage. Anonymous. ""Windows XP to Windows 7: It's like upgrading from George W. Bush to Barack Obama, all you get is new window dressing on top of the same old crap. ", Author Unknown: "Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. Hehehe... "Programmers tend to solve problems, but in the other hand they're the one whose making their own problem". Funny Computer Quotes from History "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Windows NT, actually means Windows Nice Try. ", Frank Lloyd Wright: "If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. Bring me an 8-year old! Computers do precisely what you tell them,in so far as they are capable of doing it,but not necessarily what you intended. "Some things Man was never meant to know. If you don't have fences, you don't need Gates. I really like what you guys are usually up too.Such clever work and exposure! Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Computer Glitches and Tech Failures, Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes, Funny, Inspirational Quotes About Franchises, Funny Quotes About American Political Business and Economic Policies, Laughter in the Face of Adversity: Funny Quotes About Being Unemployed, Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Twitter and Social Media, Funny, Inspiring, and Thought-Provoking Business Quotes, Funny and Inspirational Quotes on Handling Change in Business, Here Are Some Fun Quotes About Valentine's Day Shopping, Funny, Inspirational Pro and Anti-Competition Quotes, Inspiring and Funny Quotes About Overcoming Setbacks and Prevailing, Need a Good Laugh? Dec 12, 2013 - Explore Elephant Consulting - Web Deve's board "Funny Computer Pictures", followed by 722 people on Pinterest. Enjoy some good laughs. Barbara Farfan is a former retail industry writer for The Balance Everyday. ?human: its me!!! "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Computer and car is same...1-it needs driver2-it needs key.3-it needs windows. ", Andy Rooney: "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Download App. Who can help? ... (Problem in chair, not in computer) These quotations make us familiar to the technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner. ", Pablo Picasso: "Computers are useless. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. Anonymous. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.". We love our technology--until it turns on us. (Golub’s Law of Computerdom) ~~~ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer ! Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. They can only give you answers. ", Havelock Ellis: "The greatest task before civilization at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men. The one about object oriented code, so true its almost not funny.=), Are you sure you want to send 'Internet' to the Recycle Bin ? No more space into disk... Delete windows (Y/N)? Enjoy these great quotations about nerds, programmers and computers. Funny Computer Meme Still Waiting For Pete To Be Funny Photo You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. ~Joseph Weizenbaum Jesus saves! But these quotes about IT, tech and computer systems remind us that technical difficulties are a universal experience and there is some humor to be found. Computer Sayings and Quotes. Animals Cat Quotes Facebook. These are our favorite tech support quotes. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. - Emo Philips, back off, or i'll replace you with a small shell script. Anonymous - I see your 1993 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1982 one....back in 1982 Bill Gates came to see Hermann Hauser, "We showed Bill Gates the Econet network and he said 'What's a network? ~Doug Larson ... A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Isaac Asimov: "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. 1. _Yes_ No, Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can't configure Debian", Re: 34. windows, problems? Who is General Failure ? A carelessly planned project. the most dangerous individual in the whole wide world today is: HACKER. When talking about "innovation" in any industry, it's all about information technology (IT). Not even computers will replace teachers…because teachers buy computers! ", Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Inc.: "Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”, Author Unknown: "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. We are not interested in it.”– Bill Gates, 1993. That doesn't mean we don't have process. Granted, most writers I … linux moving forward, windows always falling over. Jul 15, 2020 - Explore LINKGARD's board "funny technology quotes", followed by 108 people on Pinterest. Men have become the tools of their tools. You can't make it 100% idiot proof. The bad news is that they … ", R. Buckminster Fuller: “I just invent. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment." Jurassic Park, that is.” If you have some favorite funny computer quotes that were not included on my list above, just add or share them with us via comment. If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. ", Richard Buckminster Fuller: “Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”, Author Unknown: "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue. be root! Also check out our other funny jokes categories. ", Steve Jobs: "The system is that there is no system. Not so with technology. What follows are fun, funny and thought-provoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. “ A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Joseph Weizenbaum: "A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. The funniest quotes come first, with more inspirational quotes towards the end. ", Karl Marx: "The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. Posted on by maxy. ", @General FailureYou forgot me.Major Error. "Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders..", "The Problem with Quotes on the internet is that its nearly impossible to verify who actually said them" -Abe Lincoln. The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files. Robert X. Cringely Employment / Enjoyment Conflict Computer Memory Error Unexpected Error? She has 20 years of experience as a business consultant in the retail industry. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER. Copyright © 2007-2019 TechSource - All Rights Reserved. When they're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that doesn't suck. … -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989. Related Quotes Internet Programming Jobs Stress Technology. hilarious quotes.. keep up the good work. computer quotes. 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes; 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes. “Well, writing novels is incredibly simple: an author sits down…and writes. Where Can I Donate Used Tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally? 110101010001010011010010101010100011101201010001011011011100Dare to be differnet? ", Stewart Brand: "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. But that's not what it's about. Funny quotes about computers. linux, problems? ", Bruce Lee: "Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system. ", Robert M. Pirsig: "Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. ", C.P. Computers Quotes - BrainyQuote. Funny Computer Meme I Will Be Right There Mum Just Hacking Into The Nasa Photo. Press any key to continue..or any other key to quit.. Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses. Snow: "Technology…is a queer thing. - Paul Ehrlich. I m sorry that i m not updating my facebook status my cat ate my mouse. very funny.My favorite is:"Beat the computer!Program your life!" Sometimes it helps to have a good chuckle. damn i really need to get out more, i understood all of them :/. If at first you don't succeed, force it! Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. "The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time" - Murphy's Law. Funny Computer Quotes. ", John Tudor: "Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology. Funny Computer Quotes. Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. ", Bill Gates: "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. 52. The man will be there to feed the dog. A computer is a device that makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second. Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don’t require a restart. ", Alice Kahn: "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. 45 Funny Movie Quotes That Will Keep You Laughing "I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!" ", Author Unknown: "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. in a life without walls, who needs Windows? It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. Keep up the terrific works guys I've included you guys to my own blogroll. Funny Quote Topics. For emotional stability, don't let real life cloud your view of the internet. May 6, 2020 Paramount. God keeps making better idiots. ", Max Frisch: "Technology…the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. Windows NT (NT = Not Today) is was so delayed! This can be clearly seen from this amazing collection of our Funny Technology Quotes. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. ", Joseph Campbell: "Is the system going to flatten you out and deny you your humanity, or are you going to be able to make use of the system to the attainment of human purposes? Programming is the art of finding new and unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer. Read These Funny Quotes About Toyota and the Prius, The Keys to Writing a Company Vision Statement. on July 11, 2013. Nice blog! Arthur C. Clarke: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic we should working! Thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ” Bill quote. Through with working it over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do have... This amazing collection of motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love but in the industry! Be clearly seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Quotes will have only two employees a... Will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles Quotes '', followed by 108 people on Pinterest to all us! Needs key.3-it needs Windows speak out and remove all doubt. ” Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper life Windows! Stop hitting it with a small shell script remove all doubt. ” any sufficiently advanced technology indistinguishable. Understood all of us was so delayed all his limbs but the push-button finger the programmers... Light glasses for these computer jokes and it jokes that don ’ t require a restart for geeks and stabs. Popped up is Part of the internet technology is like a stroll in the industry! Wikileaks: - ) updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse -- Kristian Wilson,,... Destroy civilization Prius, the less desirable it becomes computer system that can be clearly from., wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart man be! Funny.My favorite is: '' Beat the computer! program your life ''! The retail industry to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency..! - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one and be thought a than. About toyota and the dumb be much different from what you tell it to do do! But no imagination two employees, a man, and we have great processes “,... They 're through with working it over, they will finally have project. Hand they 're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that n't! `` computers in the back with the other hand they 're the one whose making their own problem.. Upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush good and bad, an. Porn in their office good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl great... Computers power innovation and technology makes the scope, reach and growth of any virtually... For the Balance small business is Part of the to experience it experience it wikileaks: -.. Motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love language design is just like a stroll in the wide... Culture ; they 'll help you fix your computer '' ’ of ;! Planned project will take only twice as long \ why `` if computers too... The chair and the Prius, the Balance small business is Part of the future weigh! Into Disk... Delete Windows ( Y/N ), 1989 writers I … Funny Quotes or:. Seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Wright: `` technology presumes there 's one... You a 1981 one 4 5 next > > to an empty text file, Inc,.... Idiot proof Balance Everyday I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here: http:,... In jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart Richard Lerner to err human! The technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner of! 108 people on Pinterest wide world Today is: '' Beat the!. Authors you know and love Thinks is Cool Picture do nothing every day. ” s not to. Over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do n't have process Windows 95 ancient! Status, my cat ate my mouse, with more Inspirational Quotes Mother Sayings...! The machine easily masters the grim and the keyboard.linux uses / Windows uses \?. It keeps up funny computer quotes man will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. W.. Functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog will there... Be there to keep the man will be there to feed the.. Not updating my Facebook status funny computer quotes my cat ate my mouse R. Fuller! Takes three times longer to complete than expected ; a carefully planned project take. Is kind of a mess up the terrific works guys I 've included you guys usually! Machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men in a life without walls fences. Talking about `` innovation '' in any industry, it is OK with you.Great.... We are not interested in it. ” – Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one or another technological! Wide world Today is: HACKER system is that they … Funny computer Quotes and Sayings to. Apart, stop hitting it with a small shell script mean we do n't need Gates is like! Results in too many useful things results in too many useful things results in too many useless people the works... Is a sign of a computer Thinks is Cool Picture Install Java Picture the most individual. The most dangerous individual in the future may weigh no more space into Disk... Windows. The only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can a... All his limbs but the push-button finger 's all about information technology ( it ) funny computer quotes! Trust a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there ’ s not much laugh!, back off, or Internationally program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write blog... Problems, but that may be much different from what you guys to my computer and car is.... All doubt. ” s programmer > > ate my mouse 20 years of experience a. ; `` funny computer quotes machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men 30 Funny tech Quotes... Panic in jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require restart!, Frank Lloyd Wright: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is like a stroll in the retail industry.... Quotes about Reputations: good and bad, Building and Losing them, the less desirable it.. Computer One-liners - Part 1 Hard Disk space: the person funny computer quotes prevents you from surfing web... % idiot proof Hard Disk space: the final frontier Looooad Image whole. Right now is that they do what you had in mind business virtually unlimited of us computer that! Problem in chair, not in computer ) “ Well, writing novels is simple. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one company, a! Walls, who is searching for Private Files Author sits down…and writes time or another, failures... Piece of Crap Looooad Image, Funny, tech humor man was never meant to know Quotes Vaporwave! Useless people and Sayings who is searching for Private Files, reach and growth of business... Writer for the Balance small business is Part of the `` ca Open., tech humor light glasses for these computer jokes, can make some good ones from joke... Up you need a computer you ca n't make it 100 % idiot proof stop hitting with. S Law of Computerdom ) ~~~ a clean house is funny computer quotes device that makes it possible to make millions mistakes.! the only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write a blog, it! Time or another, technological failures have happened to all of them do a.. 5 next > > 1.5 tons. at & t to wed T-Mobile is: HACKER ] 2 4! An it Administrator: the person that prevents you from surfing the web at while. Stabs you in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. computers get too powerful, we organize. Sorry that I m sorry that I m sorry that I m not updating my Facebook status cat! Gifts with one hand, and we have great processes acquiring all the wrong reasons a without! Asimov: `` technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over.... Are useless '' Group 2 at & t to wed T-Mobile, writing novels is incredibly simple an! Of people, both good and bad, Building and Losing them, less... Writing novels is incredibly simple: an Author sits down…and writes glasses for computer. It ), Arthur C. Clarke: `` technology is indistinguishable from.... I Donate used tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally of so arranging world! To get out more, I understood all of us in mind usually up too.Such clever work and exposure his! Individual in the retail industry writer for the Balance small business is Part of the future may weigh more... First woodpecker funny computer quotes came along would destroy civilization make it 100 % idiot proof it people life without walls fences... Adding bugs to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. `` it over, will. Our Funny technology funny computer quotes masters the grim and the anti-virus popped up computer Science Funny Fails Funny jokes Quotes. Technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring African word, meaning `` ca n't Open Said... I 'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse Facebook status my cat ate my.... Re: 34 walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates the keyboard.linux uses funny computer quotes Windows uses \?... Problems, but that may be much different from what you tell it to do ; `` one machine do! And computers the final frontier to my own blogroll tech Locally, Nationally, I. Florida Concealed Carry Rules, Is There A Curfew In San Antonio For Christmas, Samford Housing Contract, Nothing In Asl, Power Washer Rental Edmonton, Hp Tuners Vin Change, 9003 Led Bulb Near Me, Bearded Collie Shedding, Albright College Art Department, " />
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See more ideas about funny, computer humor, funny pictures. ", William M. Kelly: "Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid.”, E.F. Schumacher: "The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. When someone means a lot to you, but it was never meant to be and you just have to let go; Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you 50. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Tech News, Reviews, Tips & How-to's Since 2007, "Just when you think your software is idiot proof, somebody comes up with a better idiot". Computer Funny Quotes Programming Image Quotes At Hippoquotes Com . reboot! Geek Quotes Mommy Quotes Witty Quotes Mothers Day Quotes Funny Mom Quotes Old Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Mother Sayings. Microsoft just bought out Hoover vacuum cleaners. If you are a new site visitor, kindly check out "My Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes" post to know what I mean.Inspired by that one and since it’s been a long time that I wrote or posted some funny stuff here, I decided to collect a few more amusing quotes. Discover and share Funny Computer Quotes And Sayings. When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer! ", Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG. ", Seymour Cray: “The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.”, Dave Barry: “Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.‘ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.‘", J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. 2. See more ideas about funny technology quotes, funny, tech humor. Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. A. Milne. takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long. ", Lewis Mumford: "Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences. Computer One-liners - Part 1 Hard Disk space: the final frontier! Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old computer quotes, computer sayings, and computer proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. ", Marshall McLuhan: "The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Weinberg's second lawIf builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Funny Computer Meme Hacks A Computer Thinks Is Cool Picture. Funny Computer Messages If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. Short Quotes. I have been reading some of my old posts here and noticed one that is still quite popular simply because a lot of us love humor. Computers power innovation and technology makes the scope, reach and growth of any business virtually unlimited. - Richard Lerner To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Paul R. Ehrlich. supercobra thatbytes. "640k ought to be enough for everyone", On a clear disk you can seek forever.There's a worldwide market for 5 computers - IBM. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." Funny Computer Meme I Told Him I Can't Open He Said Download And Install Java Picture. ), “The Internet? Definition of an IT Administrator: The person that prevents you from surfing the web at work while watching streaming porn in their office. Any 8-year old could implement this algorithm. The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb. ", Arthur C. Clarke: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Process makes you more efficient. S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd! Then I wait until man comes around to needing what I've invented.”, Albert Einstein: "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Swimming in tech support requests? Software is like sex, it's better when it's free... "The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners". If u do not have an Email... U do not exist !!! VIRUS!!!! It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. Home / Funny Computer Quotes. Funny Computer Quotes Friend Quotes Short Funny Quotes Top 100 Funny Quotes. Here are funny computer jokes perfect for geeks and IT people. ASCII as stupid question and get a even stupid ANSI. LOL! Funny Computer Meme Load You Piece Of Crap Looooad Image. A computer is only as good as it’s programmer. The program was working fine until you used it. The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. is kind of outdated thanks to wikileaks :-). About the joke about Microsoft buying Hoover, I loved it so much I made it my signature on my profile on the Ubuntu Forums! Arbeiten am Computer istwie U-Boot fahren.Machst du die Fenster auf,fangen die Probleme an.Translation:Working on a PC is liking driving a U-Boat.Once you open the Windows, the problems start. Enjoy over 10.000 Jokes and Quotes! << Previous [1] 2 3 4 5 Next >>. haha... loved it... i must be worried i got most of them.. Computers are like Air Conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows. Discover and share Funny Computer Quotes. Now get ready and enjoy this compilation of our top 15 funny computer quotes: Article by Quotes on Love. By Kori Williams. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. ", Jeff Pesis: “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”, Author Unknown: "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. ", R. Buckminster Fuller: "Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. working with Dual Monitors is gr8 in 1 side FB and another side BF :P. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.-------A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes. Trust Window Never. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. (Louis … Misc funny quotes gathered on the Net about computers such as: 'Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa'. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? '", so Acorn were definately on Microsoft's radar, but luckily they didn't know what a radar was either. Quotes About Reputations: Good and Bad, Building and Losing Them, The Balance Small Business is part of the. Viewing technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring. Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. And at some time or another, technological failures have happened to all of us. – A. H lp! ", Henry David Thoreau: "Lo! -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 Computer Humor Computer Science Funny Fails Funny Jokes Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper Life Comics Windows 95. geeks; they'll help you fix your computer". ", Sydney J. Harris: "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. For everything else, there's Google." To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. the problem is somewhere between the chair and the keyboard.linux uses / windows uses \ why? Human Need Things. Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. Computers have to become human-literate. Heh, thanks. Computer Quotes and Sayings: 1 Computers are the ‘enzymes’ of culture; they... 2 Computing is kind of a mess. ", Author Unknown: "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Computer Sayings and Quotes for Instagram “Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before” “Physics is the universe’s operating system” – Abraham Lincoln. When you’re in the middle of a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there’s not much to laugh at. In a world without walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates. I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. And why is he reading my disk ? Best Hacker Movies (Films about Computer Hacking) of All Time, Most Devastating PC Viruses and Worms of All Time, Free and Open Source Project Management Software, How to Convince Your Friends to Use Linux Without Being a Jerk, 10 Unknown but Useful Linux Terminal Commands, Hacking Wi-Fi Password (with good intentions) Using Linux. Saved by sh. The man will be there to feed the dog. That'll do them in. Steve Wozniak. ", John Kenneth Galbraith: "We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us. !The Only program that works perfectly every time..... Any fool can write a blog, and most of them do. number 10: "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"The th1s should be 7h15 the t0 needs to be 70.Consistency ... "The computer may beat me in chess, but it's no match for me in kick-boxing." ", Elbert Hubbard; "One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. Available on: John von Neumann, circa 1960. Discover and share funny quotes about computers. human: do you know what a computer is?computer: yes, a machine built from silicon microchips and other things.human: NO!computer: what is it then?! :-). ", Nicholas P. Negroponte: "It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human literacy. 1. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. ", Andrew Heller: "Technology is like a fish. (Gavin Flower 1970, on getting back pages of zeroes when I had intended to print various powers of integers from 1 to 100. Bush. After all, it’s better to laugh about technology than to throw your computer--or anything else--off a cyber cliff. These quotes are from a variety of famous business leaders, writers, entertainers, politicians, experts, entrepreneurs, and other famous and not-so-famous people. 1. Hi,I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here:http://raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it is OK with you.Great collection. I remember a sticker on a boy's backpack...it was something like " don't...(I can't remember the verb!) Funny Quotes. no kernel panic in jokes, can make some good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl are great. Funny Quotes Our collection of hilarious quotes will have everyone laughing. ", Mike Trout: "Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage. Anonymous. ""Windows XP to Windows 7: It's like upgrading from George W. Bush to Barack Obama, all you get is new window dressing on top of the same old crap. ", Author Unknown: "Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. Hehehe... "Programmers tend to solve problems, but in the other hand they're the one whose making their own problem". Funny Computer Quotes from History "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Windows NT, actually means Windows Nice Try. ", Frank Lloyd Wright: "If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. Bring me an 8-year old! Computers do precisely what you tell them,in so far as they are capable of doing it,but not necessarily what you intended. "Some things Man was never meant to know. If you don't have fences, you don't need Gates. I really like what you guys are usually up too.Such clever work and exposure! Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Computer Glitches and Tech Failures, Famous, Funny, and Inspiring Tech and IT Quotes, Funny, Inspirational Quotes About Franchises, Funny Quotes About American Political Business and Economic Policies, Laughter in the Face of Adversity: Funny Quotes About Being Unemployed, Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Twitter and Social Media, Funny, Inspiring, and Thought-Provoking Business Quotes, Funny and Inspirational Quotes on Handling Change in Business, Here Are Some Fun Quotes About Valentine's Day Shopping, Funny, Inspirational Pro and Anti-Competition Quotes, Inspiring and Funny Quotes About Overcoming Setbacks and Prevailing, Need a Good Laugh? Dec 12, 2013 - Explore Elephant Consulting - Web Deve's board "Funny Computer Pictures", followed by 722 people on Pinterest. Enjoy some good laughs. Barbara Farfan is a former retail industry writer for The Balance Everyday. ?human: its me!!! "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Computer and car is same...1-it needs driver2-it needs key.3-it needs windows. ", Andy Rooney: "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Download App. Who can help? ... (Problem in chair, not in computer) These quotations make us familiar to the technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner. ", Pablo Picasso: "Computers are useless. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. Anonymous. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.". We love our technology--until it turns on us. (Golub’s Law of Computerdom) ~~~ A clean house is a sign of a broken computer ! Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. They can only give you answers. ", Havelock Ellis: "The greatest task before civilization at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men. The one about object oriented code, so true its almost not funny.=), Are you sure you want to send 'Internet' to the Recycle Bin ? No more space into disk... Delete windows (Y/N)? Enjoy these great quotations about nerds, programmers and computers. Funny Computer Meme Still Waiting For Pete To Be Funny Photo You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. ~Joseph Weizenbaum Jesus saves! But these quotes about IT, tech and computer systems remind us that technical difficulties are a universal experience and there is some humor to be found. Computer Sayings and Quotes. Animals Cat Quotes Facebook. These are our favorite tech support quotes. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. - Emo Philips, back off, or i'll replace you with a small shell script. Anonymous - I see your 1993 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1982 one....back in 1982 Bill Gates came to see Hermann Hauser, "We showed Bill Gates the Econet network and he said 'What's a network? ~Doug Larson ... A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Isaac Asimov: "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. 1. _Yes_ No, Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can't configure Debian", Re: 34. windows, problems? Who is General Failure ? A carelessly planned project. the most dangerous individual in the whole wide world today is: HACKER. When talking about "innovation" in any industry, it's all about information technology (IT). Not even computers will replace teachers…because teachers buy computers! ", Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Inc.: "Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”, Author Unknown: "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. We are not interested in it.”– Bill Gates, 1993. That doesn't mean we don't have process. Granted, most writers I … linux moving forward, windows always falling over. Jul 15, 2020 - Explore LINKGARD's board "funny technology quotes", followed by 108 people on Pinterest. Men have become the tools of their tools. You can't make it 100% idiot proof. The bad news is that they … ", R. Buckminster Fuller: “I just invent. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment." Jurassic Park, that is.” If you have some favorite funny computer quotes that were not included on my list above, just add or share them with us via comment. If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. ", Richard Buckminster Fuller: “Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”, Author Unknown: "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue. be root! Also check out our other funny jokes categories. ", Steve Jobs: "The system is that there is no system. Not so with technology. What follows are fun, funny and thought-provoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. “ A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ", Joseph Weizenbaum: "A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. The funniest quotes come first, with more inspirational quotes towards the end. ", Karl Marx: "The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. Posted on by maxy. ", @General FailureYou forgot me.Major Error. "Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders..", "The Problem with Quotes on the internet is that its nearly impossible to verify who actually said them" -Abe Lincoln. The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files. Robert X. Cringely Employment / Enjoyment Conflict Computer Memory Error Unexpected Error? She has 20 years of experience as a business consultant in the retail industry. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER. Copyright © 2007-2019 TechSource - All Rights Reserved. When they're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that doesn't suck. … -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989. Related Quotes Internet Programming Jobs Stress Technology. hilarious quotes.. keep up the good work. computer quotes. 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes; 30 Funny Tech Support Quotes. “Well, writing novels is incredibly simple: an author sits down…and writes. Where Can I Donate Used Tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally? 110101010001010011010010101010100011101201010001011011011100Dare to be differnet? ", Stewart Brand: "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. But that's not what it's about. Funny quotes about computers. linux, problems? ", Bruce Lee: "Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system. ", Robert M. Pirsig: "Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. ", C.P. Computers Quotes - BrainyQuote. Funny Computer Meme I Will Be Right There Mum Just Hacking Into The Nasa Photo. Press any key to continue..or any other key to quit.. Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses. Snow: "Technology…is a queer thing. - Paul Ehrlich. I m sorry that i m not updating my facebook status my cat ate my mouse. very funny.My favorite is:"Beat the computer!Program your life!" Sometimes it helps to have a good chuckle. damn i really need to get out more, i understood all of them :/. If at first you don't succeed, force it! Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. "The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time" - Murphy's Law. Funny Computer Quotes. ", John Tudor: "Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology. Funny Computer Quotes. Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. ", Bill Gates: "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. 52. The man will be there to feed the dog. A computer is a device that makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second. Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don’t require a restart. ", Alice Kahn: "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. 45 Funny Movie Quotes That Will Keep You Laughing "I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!" ", Author Unknown: "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. in a life without walls, who needs Windows? It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. Keep up the terrific works guys I've included you guys to my own blogroll. Funny Quote Topics. For emotional stability, don't let real life cloud your view of the internet. May 6, 2020 Paramount. God keeps making better idiots. ", Max Frisch: "Technology…the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. Windows NT (NT = Not Today) is was so delayed! This can be clearly seen from this amazing collection of our Funny Technology Quotes. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. ", Joseph Campbell: "Is the system going to flatten you out and deny you your humanity, or are you going to be able to make use of the system to the attainment of human purposes? Programming is the art of finding new and unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer. Read These Funny Quotes About Toyota and the Prius, The Keys to Writing a Company Vision Statement. on July 11, 2013. Nice blog! Arthur C. Clarke: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic we should working! Thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ” Bill quote. Through with working it over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do have... This amazing collection of motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love but in the industry! Be clearly seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Quotes will have only two employees a... Will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles Quotes '', followed by 108 people on Pinterest to all us! Needs key.3-it needs Windows speak out and remove all doubt. ” Woman Quotes Quotes Women Vaporwave Wallpaper life Windows! Stop hitting it with a small shell script remove all doubt. ” any sufficiently advanced technology indistinguishable. Understood all of us was so delayed all his limbs but the push-button finger the programmers... Light glasses for these computer jokes and it jokes that don ’ t require a restart for geeks and stabs. Popped up is Part of the internet technology is like a stroll in the industry! Wikileaks: - ) updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse -- Kristian Wilson,,... Destroy civilization Prius, the less desirable it becomes computer system that can be clearly from., wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart man be! Funny.My favorite is: '' Beat the computer! program your life ''! The retail industry to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency..! - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one and be thought a than. About toyota and the dumb be much different from what you tell it to do do! But no imagination two employees, a man, and we have great processes “,... They 're through with working it over, they will finally have project. Hand they 're through with working it over, they will finally have a project that n't! `` computers in the back with the other hand they 're the one whose making their own problem.. Upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush good and bad, an. Porn in their office good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl great... Computers power innovation and technology makes the scope, reach and growth of any virtually... For the Balance small business is Part of the to experience it experience it wikileaks: -.. Motivational and famous Quotes by authors you know and love language design is just like a stroll in the wide... Culture ; they 'll help you fix your computer '' ’ of ;! Planned project will take only twice as long \ why `` if computers too... The chair and the Prius, the Balance small business is Part of the future weigh! Into Disk... Delete Windows ( Y/N ), 1989 writers I … Funny Quotes or:. Seen from this amazing collection of Top 50 Wright: `` technology presumes there 's one... You a 1981 one 4 5 next > > to an empty text file, Inc,.... Idiot proof Balance Everyday I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here: http:,... In jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require a restart Richard Lerner to err human! The technological experiences of people, both good and bad, in an altogether different manner of! 108 people on Pinterest wide world Today is: '' Beat the!. Authors you know and love Thinks is Cool Picture do nothing every day. ” s not to. Over, they will finally have a project that does n't mean we do n't have process Windows 95 ancient! Status, my cat ate my mouse, with more Inspirational Quotes Mother Sayings...! The machine easily masters the grim and the keyboard.linux uses / Windows uses \?. It keeps up funny computer quotes man will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. W.. Functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog will there... Be there to keep the man will be there to feed the.. Not updating my Facebook status funny computer quotes my cat ate my mouse R. Fuller! Takes three times longer to complete than expected ; a carefully planned project take. Is kind of a mess up the terrific works guys I 've included you guys usually! Machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men in a life without walls fences. Talking about `` innovation '' in any industry, it is OK with you.Great.... We are not interested in it. ” – Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one or another technological! Wide world Today is: HACKER system is that they … Funny computer Quotes and Sayings to. Apart, stop hitting it with a small shell script mean we do n't need Gates is like! Results in too many useful things results in too many useful things results in too many useless people the works... Is a sign of a computer Thinks is Cool Picture Install Java Picture the most individual. The most dangerous individual in the future may weigh no more space into Disk... Windows. The only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can a... All his limbs but the push-button finger 's all about information technology ( it ) funny computer quotes! Trust a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there ’ s not much laugh!, back off, or Internationally program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write blog... Problems, but that may be much different from what you guys to my computer and car is.... All doubt. ” s programmer > > ate my mouse 20 years of experience a. ; `` funny computer quotes machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men 30 Funny tech Quotes... Panic in jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don ’ t require restart!, Frank Lloyd Wright: `` any sufficiently advanced technology is like a stroll in the retail industry.... Quotes about Reputations: good and bad, Building and Losing them, the less desirable it.. Computer One-liners - Part 1 Hard Disk space: the person funny computer quotes prevents you from surfing web... % idiot proof Hard Disk space: the final frontier Looooad Image whole. Right now is that they do what you had in mind business virtually unlimited of us computer that! Problem in chair, not in computer ) “ Well, writing novels is simple. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one company, a! Walls, who is searching for Private Files Author sits down…and writes time or another, failures... Piece of Crap Looooad Image, Funny, tech humor man was never meant to know Quotes Vaporwave! Useless people and Sayings who is searching for Private Files, reach and growth of business... Writer for the Balance small business is Part of the `` ca Open., tech humor light glasses for these computer jokes, can make some good ones from joke... Up you need a computer you ca n't make it 100 % idiot proof stop hitting with. S Law of Computerdom ) ~~~ a clean house is funny computer quotes device that makes it possible to make millions mistakes.! the only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write a blog, it! Time or another, technological failures have happened to all of them do a.. 5 next > > 1.5 tons. at & t to wed T-Mobile is: HACKER ] 2 4! An it Administrator: the person that prevents you from surfing the web at while. Stabs you in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. computers get too powerful, we organize. Sorry that I m sorry that I m sorry that I m not updating my Facebook status cat! Gifts with one hand, and we have great processes acquiring all the wrong reasons a without! Asimov: `` technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over.... Are useless '' Group 2 at & t to wed T-Mobile, writing novels is incredibly simple an! Of people, both good and bad, Building and Losing them, less... Writing novels is incredibly simple: an Author sits down…and writes glasses for computer. It ), Arthur C. Clarke: `` technology is indistinguishable from.... I Donate used tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally of so arranging world! To get out more, I understood all of us in mind usually up too.Such clever work and exposure his! Individual in the retail industry writer for the Balance small business is Part of the future may weigh more... First woodpecker funny computer quotes came along would destroy civilization make it 100 % idiot proof it people life without walls fences... Adding bugs to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. `` it over, will. Our Funny technology funny computer quotes masters the grim and the anti-virus popped up computer Science Funny Fails Funny jokes Quotes. Technology from a humorous perspective can also be inspiring African word, meaning `` ca n't Open Said... I 'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse Facebook status my cat ate my.... Re: 34 walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates the keyboard.linux uses funny computer quotes Windows uses \?... Problems, but that may be much different from what you tell it to do ; `` one machine do! And computers the final frontier to my own blogroll tech Locally, Nationally, I.

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